Thursday 8th January 2026
hello .. it feels a little bit awkward just to start writing blogs again as if i haven’t just disappeared for 4 months. I really missed writing these, it was an escape for me and allowed me to focus on something outside of all the noise of my life. I really want to do an indepth blog post about what I’ve been experiencing over the last 2 years, mainly focusing on 2025. It was the worst year of my life. The main reason I don’t want to write about what’s been going on is because of fear;
I’m scared to post information like this as it could put me in a very complicated and scary place. And I don’t need any more problems in my life at this moment. It discusses a lot about my family; I was failed by my own blood. I need more time to process as this was the most heart wrenching and traumatic thing I’ve ever gone through. I don’t know when I’ll be able to speak of this but.. The short version.
My family completely fell apart, I no longer have a relationship with any of my family members, I was almost homeless and moved out (luckily, with my boyfriend) and managed by the skin of my teeth to find a safe place to live. I’ve been trying to recover from the worst mental illness I’ve ever experienced. I have severe emetophobia , agoraphobia, anxiety and panic attack disorder. I’ve been medicated for over a year, I had to leave my job and go through a financial crisis. I’m in intense therapy and going through exposure techniques and have daily struggles with my mental illness.
However, one thing about me, I won’t let this take me. And I will get my life back.
I’ll write sooner than you think, this is just a small look into my life and as time goes on I’m open to writing more, I want to educate others and make others feel less alone.
Thank you for reading and sticking with me. Talk soon.
definitions + explanations
Emetophobia is a specific phobia characterized by an intense, persistent fear of vomiting. This fear may involve:
- Vomiting oneself
- Seeing or hearing someone else vomit
- Feeling nauseous or fearing loss of control
- Situations associated with vomiting (e.g., illness, food poisoning, pregnancy, alcohol)
People with emetophobia often engage in avoidance behaviours (such as avoiding certain foods, places, or social situations) and may experience significant anxiety or panic when exposed to triggers.
Housebound agoraphobia refers to a severe form of agoraphobia in which a person is unable to leave their home (or can do so only with extreme distress or a trusted companion) due to intense fear or anxiety.
This fear is typically related to:
- Having panic attacks or severe anxiety outside the home
- Being unable to escape or get help
- Experiencing embarrassing or incapacitating symptoms
As a result, the individual may avoid all outside situations, leading to significant impairment in daily life, including work, education, healthcare access, and social relationships.
Anxiety Disorder
An anxiety disorder is a mental health condition characterized by excessive, persistent worry or fear that is difficult to control and interferes with daily functioning. The anxiety is often disproportionate to the situation and may be accompanied by physical symptoms such as restlessness, muscle tension, rapid heartbeat, difficulty concentrating, or sleep problems. There are several types, including generalized anxiety disorder, phobias, social anxiety disorder, and others.
Panic Attack Disorder (Panic Disorder)
Panic disorder is an anxiety disorder marked by recurrent, unexpected panic attacks—sudden episodes of intense fear or discomfort that peak within minutes. These attacks include physical and cognitive symptoms such as shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness, heart palpitations, nausea, or fear of losing control or dying. Panic disorder also involves ongoing fear of future attacks and behavioral changes aimed at avoiding them.
Lalibelle.blog 