tuesday23rd September 2025
Confidence. What does it mean to you? What is confidence? What does it feel like? Can you build it within yourself? Can you ‘fake it till you make it?’
I feel a good starting point for this blog is writing about improving ourselves; I’m always aiming to better myself and setting goals to improve my life. As humans it’s so important and part of growing, to set realistic and achievable life goals.. ‘Achievable’ is different for everyone, one person thinks buying a house and getting a mortgage is absolutely impossible, but others know they can, with a lot of hard work, motivation and dedication, anything is possible. The same as saving and buying a house takes blood, sweat and tears; improving your confidence, seeing your flaws and working on them also takes blood, sweat and tears.
As someone who identifies herself as confident, fabulous and slightly over the top; I thought I’d do my own research into what makes me confident and why? And how do others perceive me as a person? So I can try to help others, who feel they need a little extra sparkle.. wherever they go; create a world where you are the main character in everyone’s book.
Where do we start?
before we get into the main conversation I feel its important that first and foremost, you are honest with yourself. looking into the mirror and seeing ‘imperfections’ is fairly normal, most people only see those things that they wish to change and ‘hate’ particular features of themselves. use this as your super power. learn to love that part of yourself. whether its because you have acne, cellulite, boobs are too small or too big, your too short or too tall, too fat, too skinny, you don’t like your nose or your eyes? take all that energy that you put into hating it, and start to think about it positively. I love this about me, because it makes me.. me. don’t allow others to make you insecure about that
you’re letting the opinion of people you don’t even like hold you back; why?– Talia
its also super important to look within. look at what’s inside, your personality, are you a nice person? could you be nicer? could you be more grateful? more appreciative? are you jealous? a pathological liar? these are all things you can improve within yourself if you want it bad enough. being a nice person isn’t difficult unless you make it.
the world is fucked; be the good that we need.
Setting realistic and achievable goals..
‘You’ve got to start somewhere’ is a saying I’m sure everyone has heard so many times in their life, but it’s true. No matter how big or small the changes are, it’s important to implement them into your everyday life; create the person you want to be.
No one can control that except you.
That’s what is so beautiful about being human.
These changes can be as small as putting some makeup on everyday, if it makes you feel more put together, take that extra 15 mins or (if you’re a glam lover like me..) 1hr30.. To put on your face and tackle the day. Naturally over time, you’ll have a pep in your step, people might compliment you and notice how much more ‘put together’ you look, just as simple as that you already feel more glamorous and a little bit more confident. The same goes with doing your nails, i cannot tell you the amount of people, as a nail technician, that have told me the impact i have on their lives, JUST because i do their nails. When you’ve had your nails done in a perfect way that makes you so happy, again, it’s another tiny thing that makes you feel good, you’ve invested that time and money into yourself because you’re worth it, you naturally feel pampered, taken care of and your energy cup has been refilled. Find a great nail technician, invest time into finding someone who knows what they are talking about, your nail health is most important. And I promise you’ll leave feeling like a new person.
Stepping out of your comfort zone..
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in my early twenties,
‘get comfortable with being uncomfortable.’
That simple quote has completely changed my life.
The real reason we are all here isn’t to reproduce, it isn’t to ‘get your money up’ and become billionaires. It’s to be uncomfortable and to learn through change. Constantly challenging your body and mind. Do things that you think you’d never do, that’s what will make you feel alive, that’s where your confidence will start to really grow, doing the ‘impossible’. That doesn’t always mean jumping out of planes and swimming with sharks, it can mean getting a new job after working somewhere for 5-10-15 years.. It can mean moving to a completely new country and creating a new life elsewhere; I’d argue that’s scarier and braver than jumping out of a plane.. This also doesn’t mean that you need to do something soooo big that’s out of your comfort zone. I have a few friends with social anxiety, they find it absolutely terrifying to order coffee in a cafe, make a complaint in a restaurant as they feel embarrassed and would rather not inconvenience others, some these are things we do so naturally but for others these things can be completely paralyzing. If you are someone struggling with social anxieties and find it hard to do daily things due to ‘embarrassment’, ‘inconveniencing’ others, ‘judgement’, looking ‘stupid’ etc. you can also combat that. I did.
‘How ? lallie how tf did you do that.. the way i know you now, i would never, ever assume you had difficulty with that..’
being uncomfortable.
Examples of things I did to get over any social anxieties I’ve had.
- Talking to strangers
Most strangers are beautiful, there’s something so magical to me about mysterious people; you have no idea. They have a whole life with people you don’t know about, beautiful romance stories, tales of their childhood and future ambitions, there was always something so powerful to me about that. So i made it my mission, every single time i walked into a shop or a cafe, restaurant, any establishment, i complimented people, i always made genuine comments and always made sure i made others feel good as a reflection of myself; As when In that moment, I felt completely foreign and really uncomfortable, thinking people thought I was weird or creepy.. That was NEVER the case. People, more often than not, complimented back, smiled and laughed, started telling me where they got that item from, whether it was clothing, makeup or perfumes, it didn’t matter, the more I did it the more confidence I got speaking to people and realizing how normal we all are.
push your boundaries; it’ll only do you good.
People are selfish
- No one gives a fuck about you. Not a single person cares what you do, say, think, wear, want, feel or need at all. No one. Not one person. How do I know this?
Because I don’t care either. I couldn’t care less about anything when i’m out in the world more than myself and whatever the fuck I want. And I bet on everything.. You don’t care about others either. We are all far too selfish and thinking about what we look like and what we want or need, that we’ll never care or even realise about others around us.
Embarrassment and rejection
- Feeling embarrassed is a choice. I know.. Sounds like I’m talking shit. But I promise you, if you decide not to feel embarrassed.. It doesn’t exist. It took me a few years to come to this conclusion but it has completely changed my life, I’ve done a lot of things that I probably should be ‘ashamed’ of, such as tripping over in front of loads of people, publicly bullied and fat shamed, i used to do really cringey and stupid things, i used to dress really weird before i found my style.. This was important character building, as awful and uncomfortable as most of it was, it was important for my future, it made me the woman I am today. Because I’ve been in so many uncomfortable situations, I don’t even feel embarrassed anymore. It just doesn’t exist in my world. And i also dont care what others think, so what tf do i have to be embarrassed about?.. Speaking of embarrassment.. Let’s talk rejection therapy; My favorite kind of de-sensitisation technique, I’m not joking, go up to people and ask for their number. The hotter, the better this works, there’s no losing.. You know why? Either you get the hot guys number.. Or he says no and you just deal with rejection. A step in the right direction of not giving a fuck and realising nothing matters, youll never see the fucker again anyway and hes blind if he doesnt see that a sex bomb like you wants his number and doesnt take that opportunity.. Idiot.. Am I wrong? Do it, the more you do the better, you’ll stop putting people on a pedestal and realise everyone’s boring, be different, be fun, flirt with strangers and make yourself seen. I promise you’ll enjoy life a lot more if you just chill out and realise people are stupid and don’t care. There you go, hope this helped someone because it really helped me.
Final step to gaining confidence,
Surround yourself with good people.
Spending time with people who uplift you and themselves are people you need in your life. Finding good people is valuable and if not the most important thing you can do, they can create immense influence on your life. Make sure to keep the good ones close to you, those who celebrate your wins, are honest and give constructive criticism, those who want you out of your shell and to be the most authentic you. Those people love you and you need them as much as they need you, the energy and love they put into your happiness and glowing future you should be pushing them in the same direction. If there’s people slowing you down, making you feel guilty, you feel like you are advancing in your life too fast and you’ve ‘left them behind’ ask yourself.. What is going on in their life? Do they need help and support? Can I help them? We grow together, girls, in different paces of course. But keep checking in. real friends care. We are in this together.
True friendship isn’t about being there when its convenient; its about being there when its not.
I’ve asked my beautiful friends to describe me in one word.. (some are longer lol)
Why? Because I wanted to do some simple research into what people thought about me and how I, as a person, come across..
Who am I to someone else?
Maybe alone, I’m insecure? Scared? Unsure? Failing? not very confident? But others see the real me, no filters, no subconscious thoughts clouding my conversations. Completely raw honest lallie. This did make me cry, if i asked you thank you for saying such kind words to me i love you all ❤
- Bubbly
- Lively yet elusive
- Soulfoul
- emotional
- Nurturing and motherly
- Magnetic
- Light up my life
- Unapologetically you
- Beautiful
- Filling up my energy
- You are a gem
- One of a kind
- Vibrant
- Brave
- One in a million
- Inspirational
- Unstoppable
- Strong
- Polite
- Angelic
- Charismatic
I am so lucky that people view me in such a beautiful way and I’d never change that for the world. That’s another thing that makes me feel confident, the people I care about most love me and know that I’m a good person. Today I want you to do just that. I want you to message your friends one word or thing that you love about them. And ask for one back. See how it makes you feel, it’ll open a beautiful conversation between your circle and that’s the people that matter. They should make you feel confident; you can always be authentically yourself.
You can’t claim confidence if you’re trying to be someone you’re not.. You need to be you, 100% you; That’s where real confidence comes from.
lots of Love; Love
write something you love about yourself and why? ❤
ill go first since we are sharing!
I love how passionate I am about things, I get really, really dedicated to be the best at something and always manage to succeed. I love that about myself;<3
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